Trust

My heart is not a playground
For you to do with what you wish
Riddle it with your pseudo love
Trash it with your carelessness
My trust is not a toy
For you to toss around
Play with it one minute
And the next throw it to the ground
I have really put my trust in you
And I really care as well
But someone's got me thinking
That this is a game I'm being entailed
The demon's in me I hide
Are finding their way back
My anger is simmering again
I feel as though I'm trapped
I hope this is just caution
Warning of the unwise
Instead of an entangling
Getting stuck in a web of lies
But yet I still trust you
My heart says I must
It’s just all the hurt in my past
Has made me susceptible to mistrust
I just need to tell you
That if this is a game you’re playing
End the charade now
The result is not a price worth paying
I’ve never considered myself weak
Just overwhelmed
I’ve accumulated a lot of anger
And it feels as though it’s coming around
I can’t do it again
I was stupid for letting myself go
This curse of conspiracy I play on myself
Is going to twist everything good I know
I contradict myself
Many times and more
Something I’ve always done
Because I’m so unsure
I’m crying for help please
If there is someone who really cares
Instead of shunning me away
Say that you’ll be there
I want her so bad
Yet I’m so confused
Ninety-five percent of me says it’s real
The other five says I’m being used
She brought me out of my shell
I felt so safe inside
Now I’m vulnerable again
With no where to hide
I have given you all of me
And handed you my trust
It’s just that my past
Has turned my nature to mistrust